don't you just want to eat him up? i do ... no really, i do : )
the 28th came & went and just like that he is one month old. he celebrated by getting his finger nails clipped and having french toast for dinner. he is smiling a little. last night he let out this darling little coo that interrupted a conversation between his daddy and i. he's enjoying the perks of being the baby with 5 older brothers & sisters (read: he is held most of the time!) and he's a fan. he's newborn skin is just about done peeling and flaking. every now & then he can hold his head up for a couple of minutes. he's worth the bad jean size!
wait for it ....
'cause you know i'm going to tell you how dreamy he is .....
- - -
i'm out of the posting .... what's the word? i can't even think of the right word. mood? rhythm? groove? whatever it is i'm out of it.
i have a head full of thoughts & albums full of pictures.
i want to ..... there's been a lot going on.
today's goal: post. actually hit the submit key & not the delete key. i'm not sure how i'll do it, though. obviously i'll over think it. what picture should i start with? and do i jump in with where we are right now? do i ignore the fact this whole last month has been a random hit & miss of posts? or do i try and go back and fill in .....
i think i really want to go back and fill in. all the pictures, all the thoughts, all the goings on. but that's where i've been hung up 'cause i've had this crazy mental block in my typing.
i could say happy saturday morning. the sun is now high enough to clear the clouds and its streaming into the living room full & bright. jacky is with me with his stack of library books, flipping through them page by page carefully studying every picture he comes across. it's quiet & homey & saturday-ish.
and then i could just start up with pictures that don't need a full on explanation, like this one
it just needs something like hello family!
and then just go on from there with updated side notes like how regan is now awake but she can't figure out how to open the closed hall door so i'm hearing the door knob squeak & turn & her sneeze.
but like i said what i really want is to somehow go back and remember more of the feeling, the emotion, the relationship of the past month.
i look at this picture and see feeling, emotion & relationship.
so it's been a month. its been a month in the literal sense of time but its also been a month like 'been one of those days' its been a month.
i think that's one of the reasons for the lack of posts. there's been this figuring out, this learning again, this finding my feet.
that's just taken awhile to do. life doesn't stop ...
i'm trying to think back to when sailor was a newborn ... i remember her & i laying in bed both crying in the middle of the morning 'cause i had no idea how to take care of a baby. i remember waking her up, like with lights on and diaper changes in the middle of the night to feed her. evidence 1 i had no idea how to take care of baby, lol! who wakes a healthy sleeping baby in the middle of the night?!! i remember her sitting in the middle seat of rex's old truck 'cause there was just the 3 of us and we could all fit. i remember being surprised after giving her a bath how curly her hair was wet.
i really don't remember what i did all day : ) because in hind sight now looking back ... little tiny baby's all by themselves are beautifully easy! i don't think i really held her enough, or just sat with her or took her picture enough.
i don't think we even owned a camera then : )
jumping back to now - regan just figured out the hall door. she came out blinking over the bright sunlight & swiping her hair out of her eyes in this funky way she does that never works and ends up back in her eyes. her lemon yellow hair is fresh, clean & pretty much tangle free from last nights bath with her brothers. it almost matches her old faded yellow zippy 'jammies perfectly.
she's got her daddy reading her every maisy library book we have. just like this picture her & dolly love maisy books, just.love.them.
back to emotion & feeling. adele is singing to make you feel my love on my needtobreathe pandora station right now.
i've had this back & forth feeling. be a rock star & conquer the world.
why can't i do everything? stay up on laundry, keep the toilet from smelling like pee, have 3 kids in school, make dinner every night, get along, really get along with rex, have the floor swept, teach little boys to read, potty train a little girl and nurse a baby every 3 hours. music lessons, vacuum, teach them responsibility, be at church on time, keep the car cleaned out, exercise, be consistent .... in everything. blog.
are you exhausted yet : )
ahh me too.
on to eggs & cereal for breakfast. and discussions of this saturday's plans. regan is snitching fried egg bites off rex's plate. jacky is on his 3rd bowl of cereal. benny is sharing his plan for how to put the sheet rock on the ceiling. more on that project later ....
wanna know how much of that has actually happened the last month?
well, chad has not missed a meal and that might be about it : )
even honestly rex & i have had our moments. i love this song.
i'm not sure how i thought having a baby in the middle of a school year would not interrupt school, but it did actually : ) and school is starting back again this monday, officially.
we're at this great & not normal time right now where rex is off for 6 weeks. we've made it through the first week. we really do like being together.
he had this whole hilarious monologue the other day about how i don't like change. i nearly came unglued on him over the new speakers in the suburban. i think my words were along the lines of i was ready to drive the car off the cliff with the kids in it.
he realized i was slightly overreacting & claimed the only reason i didn't like the new working speakers over the old non working ones was they were different and a change. i realize it was one of those you'd of had to of been there moments but it was funny. very funny.
he's right, i guess.
small town parade. molly waved everyone & everything ... regardless of whether she knew who or what it was.
we're past breakfast now. they're all out working on their great saturday plans. chad is trying to figure out how to suck his finger & all he's getting is his fist and it's just a little frustrating to him. i'm trying to decide if i'll take a picture for him being 5 weeks old today.
we are behind enough that his 4 week picture never got posted.
so yeah, we're getting back into the groove of life. how faithful is God, yes? yes. i want to remember the last month, his first month like this ....
i enjoyed chad. i knew a little 10 day old baby is only 10 days old for a short 24 hours. i've held him, slept with him, not stressed over when he was awake or asleep or ate or didn't eat. it's taken six kids : )
i did however stress over everything else! no really, i did.
i'm not a let things go very well sort of person.
taking nearly six weeks off school plus a christmas vacation before that i was pretty convinced the kids would have completely lost any education they had.
but what do you know, they haven't. and as some good straight up words from wise friends have told me they are actually better for it.
i'm really totally excited of another five weeks with rex and being together. we've thought of all sorts of ideas we could do! its really taking a lot of self control not to take a road trip to disneyland : )
- - -
so we absolutely enjoyed ^ her coming to see us. she's really perfectly wonderful for doing it. we kinda cleared our schedule for a week & just hung out.
and we took her annual pictures. there were a few classics rex thought would be great for a match.com profile picture or his favorite christian mingle - he's offered to set up accounts for her : )
... she's a beauty.
so again we say thanks for coming. some day we really will load up for ohio. we love you, probably more than you can know. xoxo
- - -
here's where we'll just fill in with pictures
molly & chad & their cheesy camera faces -
he was with the sister friends yesterday.
- - -
back to the parade -
it was windy : )
- - -
her two favorite people right now - her daddy & her auntie amie.
molly added her own flare to my old circa early 1980's dress.
- - -
the boys love her, too.
- - -
ben talks to chad more than any of the other kids. he usually introduces himself 'hi chad, its your frothfer, your frothfer ben.' last night he showed chad his underwear & explained how when he got big he could wear them too. he's also explained how he'll will have to learn that his name is chad & when mom calls him he'll have to come.
- - -
leftover swimming pictures.
- - -
some chad love & goodness -
his first real bath - he's not so sure i won't let him drown.
waking up & getting dressed -
finding his fingers -
- - -
one of those rock star moments where we were doing more than just feeding a baby -
- - -
we welcomed amie back to cali with an in 'n out dinner -
- - -
sister friends ...
- - -
all buckled up in his car seat & he wasn't crying : )
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a library trip -
- - -
phone pictures -
- - -
right now they've all left to make a home depot run. it's time to feed chad again. and then we might just take his picture .... and then conquer the world!
so i'm going to click submit & then come back and edit any typos.
- - -
an edit : ) 
- - -
- - -
i'm eating vanilla ice cream with my right hand & chad is asleep on my chest making all these little snoring noises. he's keeping me warm while the ice cream is making me cold.
i've had plans all week long to post.
it just never happened.
so a few pieces of our day .....
12 and a half minutes of freeze tag on grandma's front grass & this temperature and the kids thought they were hot enough & it was warm enough to swim!
i wasn't sure the hassle & ordeal it was finding last years swim suits & blowing up left over arm floaties would really be worth the 3 minutes they'd last.
but they actually jumped in!
febuary. i think that's a record for them.
- - -
and we played LIFE. it was a trip down memory lane, it'd been forever since we'd played.
amie got married : )
i won the lottery : )
benny took pictures -
amie landed on squares like save the polluted lake - pay $240,000 & need false teeth $3,000. she managed the whole game to not land on a single 'you have a kid' space. i collected my $300,000 inheritance & royalties from my best seller. my car was full of kids.
she gambled it all at the end & became a millionaire tycoon : )
it was a great game!
- - -
she is taken with her aunt ~
he seems pretty ok with her too -
- - -
rex told him the other night that the ions were excited & that was how the light was working. he seems pretty fascinated with his dads electrical knowledge. he'd be ok if he was just carried around, held and allowed to look at lights : )
- - -
and last - dinner tonight was late, loud & lively!
- - -
more tomorrow!
hello mr. tiny little baby love who's lived with us for 3 whole weeks now, oh how we love you!
i have this line when i pray with the kids at night that i repeat on a fairly regular basis, i say 'thank you that sailor (thank you that jack, thank you that benny, thank you that molly, thank you that regan .... ) is a part of our family' or a variation would go like this 'i'm so glad _________ is a part of our family.'
of all the kids God has ever created He gave us them. i want to be grateful for that & i want them to hear my gratefulness for that.
chad is the same way - i'm so wowed he's ours. i hold him & kiss him & talk to him & whisper i love you & tell him he's fearfully and wonderfully made.
it's been 3 weeks, it's been almost 2 1/2 years, it's been just over 4 years, its been 5 years, it's been 7 years, it's been 8 years .... and i'm still wowed.
- - -
i think at any other time this weekend had i started writing it would have all just been wrong. you would have read through and heard tired, or frustrated, or even mad.
this morning for example i forgot chad's little hat & didn't realize it 'til we got to church and it was cold and windy and i was the mom who's 6th kid didn't have a hat. and in light of every other event of the morning that small thing was enough to nearly send me over the edge. and when one of my dearest friends dad said good morning, shook my hand & put his arm around my shoulder i nearly cried.
wow, huh : )
ahhhh!
but that is all water under the bridge now, it's hours & hours later. there's been hot chocolate from the coffee shop, an after church meeting, a bathroom cleaned, good people over for bible study, candles lit, lot of popcorn swept up, ben told me about why he glued salt all over the lady on his sunday school paper craft. the kids are all well put to bed & there's good music playing while i'm here in the quiet. and that is why i post now ...
when there is space & perspective : )
(chad survived church just fine with out a hat, for the record)
so now for the few pictures from last week. i have purposed this week to take more ... to not go days in between clicks. i thought i should have done one of those take a picture of the baby every single day in the same spot, or at the same time, or in the same outfit for a whole year. but honestly ....
i just knew that wouldn't have worked : )
is it terrible to say this is probably one of my favorite pictures from the week?? it is. what is it? i just could stare at it ....
three -
four -
five -
six!
a date - chad's first time coming along.
a new week starts. rex & the kids enjoy a presidents day holiday from work & school tomorrow. anticipation is thick & rising as amie flies in this week for a meet baby chad visit. we are contemplating our first run of the season this week !! ??? and in spite of the tired, mad & frustrating moments of life we purpose to remember the important, to make the most of opportunities & enjoy the now.
- - -
oh & last, i almost forgot (well i did forget, so i came back and am adding it) a birth announcement of sorts. sailor, jack, ben & molly all got real, put in the mail, official birth announcements. regan, poor child got nothing. here is a wanna be for chad. do you know that on the complementary birth certificate they give you when you leave the hospital, on the line where they type the parents names they typed 'born to rex & rex rodgers' !!! no joke : )
we'll title this the 3 week old post. and call this ^ one of my last pregnant pictures taken.
3 weeks ago tonight we were together ... rex & i. i was a complete and utter grouch. i honestly don't think i hardly said seven words to him all night. he let it go, knowing he wasn't the source : )
i was pretty much done being pregnant & since i'm writing this now and not then i can say i actually really was just about done .... it was down to hours left.
that day the kids had school, sailor had piano lessons, i took them to the little park that can only boast of a tire swing and a merry go round.
this is their reaction to their pregnant mom falling over while taking their picture .... it really was kinda funny : )
i think the beautiful thing about looking back at these pictures that are only three weeks old .... is that seeing the kids in them tells me they won't remember their mom was kinda frazzled the last few days of pregnancy. they won't remember the day before chad was born being a day mom didn't say much & just making it through the day. they'll remember the day before chad was born by going the park, mom pushing them all squished together on the tire swing & mom falling over taking their pictures.
both are true. its not a cover up or a look good. its not a denying of reality. i'm sure if i took the time to keep typing there would be lots of good spiritual lessons to pull from that.
the lesson all over again for myself is the reminder to give them my best.
its crazy that it's already three weeks from that day. jack told me today how fast days go when you don't think about them ....
true : )
- - -
so one of the perks, rex says about me not being pregnant anymore is that i can have bathe kids added back on my list of jobs : )
he's kind about it .... when at 3 weeks pregnant i declare i'm too big!!! to bend over the tub & soap armpits, feet and faces, wash and rinse hair, etc.
he really has done the lion's share of baths around here for months & months. and giving credit where its due gave baths before regan was born and molly and really probably benny.
side note: this last year a majority of them were taught how to shower : )
but i'm back. and for the novelty that a shower for the little kids can be, a bath with a tub full of toys and a sister friend still wins out!
and then there's these two
they needed a shower tonight. and next thing you know i was being talked into filling the tub for a bath. they pretty pleased me.
i said pretty please wasn't going to work. and they thought to try handsome please, being boys & all.
sucker ... i was sucker for the handsome please : )
and when they went all silly in front of the mirror afterward, i combed their hair backwards for the dramatic effect & let them dance away.
yeah confession, might just be a little high on how sweet life is .....
- - -
written word for word as he told it to me & signed by him -
- - -
happy valentines day -
we aren't out at some fancy restaurant tonight.
we're home in sweats : )
we're sprawled out on the couch watching a movie.
rex is sick in bed, with a raging fever.
we had take 'n bake pizza for dinner.
little chad is in a cozy nightgown.
molly is hot & cold & sick too.
we read a library book most of the afternoon .... i'd keep saying this is the last chapter & then we'd read another one : )
i've eaten more of the heart shaped sugar cookies mom made then all the kids combined, i think.
rex still managed to bring roses home for me & tulips for the girls.
and after that he went straight to a hot shower & then to bed.
he actually said at dinner he was sorry i was the one well .... i got what he meant. it sounded easier to be sick then to take care of everyone & everything : )
he offered to buy me diamond earrings or a new stroller for chad. i actually chose the stroller. true story & i'm kinda super excited : )
- - -
'how deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure ....'
rex says he is going to wait me out tonight. he holds his fingers up like he's typing & says its not as hard as it looks.
somehow i think he was looking for something more than we're still alive & i promise more is coming : )
- - -
it's late & quiet. do you know how many times i've held down the delete key? i type & delete .... over and over.
i can't post : )
he's snoring now, for the record ... that's how long he lasted on the whole 'i'm going to wait you out' business.
so really i could just hit submit right here and call it good - but there's this part of me that screams i must say something about the last 2 weeks. in 2 years i'll want something to reread.
so how about a journal of his first and second weeks combined.
about chad calvin -
he eats & sleeps. he sometimes cries. he gets kissed a lot.
he's been on a quick road trip to turlock. he's been to costco & grandma's house. he's been to his sisters spelling bee. he was not a fan of his first trip to target .... i told him that would need to change as target is one of his moms favorite stores. he's been on quite a few walks down the road - he's met the cows. he's been once to the doctors office.
i love how newborn oneies are still plenty roomy on him. i love how he still flails his little arms out. i love how his skin is still flaking & pealing.
i love to hold him.
so far car rides are not his thing ... unless the car is moving faster than 40mph.
there are little white oneies & burp clothes & tiny socks & blue elephant 'jammies in the laundry again.
some days he wore little blue outfits instead of white oneies. some days i didn't even take his picture. some days he spent all of nap time in my arms.
what else do i want to remember ....
i want to remember the smell of his cheeks. and how his hair is darker than any of his brothers or sisters. i want to remember just how tiny he is with no baby fat on him yet. and how its only been 2 weeks & i am completely 100% taken with him.
about us -
the rest of the family has done more than eat & sleep! we have sometimes cried : ) (well not rex, but ...) and we've kissed a lot, too.
we've had fevers & throwing up in the last 2 weeks. sore throats and runny noses, too.
sailor did really very well at the spelling bee.
jack spent his gift card birthday money on a date with his grandpa.
ben told me he wished he knew how to read.
molly taught herself how to write her name last week.
regan now talks with sentences that can have up to 5 or 6 words in them.
we have spent hours outside in our crazy not cold winter.
i love how they never tell me they're bored.
some days we never really got dressed. some days we watched movies. some days we enjoyed sweet friends. some days grandma came. some days we never took a single picture. some days we all went out.
rex will tell you he was the first one to stay with them all by himself. i will tell you i was the first one to take them all out by myself.
sailor told me her first five favorite things at the park. 1, swings. 2, play structure. 3, monkey bars. 4, rolling slide. 5, ... i forget.
i've just sat here trying to remember, i can't.
molly loves the radio turned up in the car. regan has started singing with her.
rex has worked long days this past week.
about life -
having a baby changes life all over again : ) i wonder when i do reread this if i'll remember all the in between everything i'm not writing out right now ...
it's been beautiful.
it's been hard.
it's been sweet.
it's been emotional.
it's been challenging.
it's been crazy.
it's been loud.
it's been tiring.
it's been worth it.
and now pictures.
this is not the post where pictures are artistically placed between nice go together paragraphs -
bunch a words, bunch a pictures : )
starting with chad -
one of the days we spent outside
he sunbathed.
a leftover from his one week picture.
he's a pretty big fan of the little space heater : )
epic trip - first time going out, on my own : ) chad's there too, in his car seat next to molly.
sister friend has learned how to put a ponytail in her own hair -
sharing popcorn on the porch.
letting jack use the camera - i call this my eye is getting poked out smile : )
watching football -
he got to meet aunt sissie today .... for him, its his 93 year old great, great aunt.
wearin' his man pants in honor of auntie amie!
benny got to show&tell about his new brother in his class -
a few phone pictures -
my favorite random picture of today -
and with that i think we'll finish this, good night.
or good morning!
- - -
knowing he won't have his own baby book, where his mom writes down things like '1/29/12 - first car ride' or '2/4/12 - first time regan tried carrying him' .....
we'll try and at least give a little journal entry of his first week.
tomorrow, we'll give it tomorrow ....
tonight we go to bed & sleep.
: )
- - -
would you like to meet our baby?
great, 'cause i'd like to introduce him : )
here is the barely over seven pounds of dreaminess, little chad calvin.
- - -
he's with me now. he's tiny enough to lay on my shoulder & i can still type with both hands. i do this every time .... (over think!! : ) tell myself things like i should really lay him in his bed & he can't sleep in my arms all the time.
rex assures me its impossible to ruin spoil a kid in the first 3 days of his life & that all our other kids are sleeping unaided alone in their beds right now.
so, consequently he has spent 94% of his 3 days of life with me ... the other 6% being viciously fought over by the remaining six people in his family : )
to say i'm completely taken with him, is an incredible understatement. there's a reason why we keep doing this .... these little tiny baby loves get us every time : )
i always love reading other girls stories on how it went. what was it like. i'm all for reading the details! and yet when it comes to writing something out about mine, i tend to clam up.
rex takes this picture every time. he sets down my bag, fishes out the camera, points it up to the wall & clicks. so we will always remember when we first got there.
11:36am .... friday morning.
3:04am ..... saturday morning.
whats the story in between : )
here we are around 7pm friday night. yes rex is on the phone. yes i look like i'm not in labor .... i wasn't : )
the short story goes like this -
my water broke on its own around 6am friday morning. when that happened with ben & molly within four hours we had a baby.
i sent rex a message that started with holy cow .... and he came back from work. i did the usual things like take a shower & shave my legs & fold a load of laundry & vacuum our room : ) he did the usual things like take the kids to his moms & put the car seat in the truck & make sure he had a good book to read.
we went to target & bought things like q-tips & on sale dresses for the little girls. we went to the mall 'cause walking is always suppose to start contractions.
we were already past our 4 hours & absolutely nothing had happened.
walking didn't work. neither did watching house hunters international on the hospital tv. neither did freaking out over it not happening. and neither did walking.
12 hours had passed & while i was pretty comfortable and having zero contractions the whole point of being there was to have a baby and that was going to mean uncomfortable & lots of contractions.
so we finally hit the point of what were we waiting for .... and for the first time in six deliveries we went with drugs to start labor.
i was given pitocin for the first time.
house hunters was still on. they were playing reruns by now. the girl's epidural in the next room had worn off, she was screaming. rex was falling asleep. so was i. we were that tired.
by 2:30am i was only dilated to 6cm.
it was a fast, hard 34 minutes.
and then we met -
i cried. rex smiled.
the end.
- - -
some hospital pictures -
all cleaned up after his bath -
our leftover breakfast -
sleeping through his first meeting with his little friend -
and here's a classic : ) but it the first family picture with all 8 of us .... 8!
- - -
some at home pictures -
he takes the clock picture every time .... i take the back step picture every time.
a few comments from the kids so far ....
'really mom! its milk?? i thought it was leftovers.' a sincere response to the fact that chad lives on milk from mom & not the 'leftovers' of my diet : )
'regan got a little brother before she got a haircut'
'he's a good sleeper.'
'when he's not looking at me, i know he's thinking about it.'
'he's a handsome boy.'
'i think he'll be a good brother.'
- - -
amie asked who he looked like & while several people have suggested different kids, rex told her he looked like an old man - here is chad's old man look : )
- - -
a gift, he's a beautiful gift.
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