it's his birth day -

chad calvin
1-28-12
7lb 1 oz
18 1/2 in
3:04 am

- - -

well hi there : )

- - -

i'm seriously hoping the next family picture has him in it.

obviously we could just not take one 'til he is here - but that reasoning breaks down quickly when related to other things ....

like i hope this is the last time i have to wash my hair pregnant or shave my legs or put sheets on jacks bed or mop the floor or sit on the floor & change a diaper or pick up the swept up pile of cheerios

i mean not doing all those things would be a pretty extreme strike : )

 

my mind is on crazy active over drive right now. over thinking labor, mainly : ) playing out every worst case scenario, thinking of the just plain pain.

and it dawned on me yesterday .....
let it go.

like God doesn't already know, one my thoughts, two how its going to all go ... when it will happen.

along with taking every thought captive - which is always healthy for the mind! - start replacing those thoughts with truth.

so tonight i'm (and him : ) he's a kickin' away!) sitting here while every one else is at awana. and we're having our own praise & worship session.

the song that just started playing is 'my grace is sufficient'

i cast all my cares upon You, i lay all my burdens down at Your feet.

seek peace & pursue it.

i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

My yoke is easy & My burden is light.

the voice of Truth tells me a different story - i will listen to the voice of Truth.

and this song.

and that's the end of my brief pep talk to myself : )

in other news ....

benny & i were doing math today and his eyes just slayed me. i could hardly concentrate on skip counting triangles & candy canes in his math book for how dreamy his crazy chocolate brown eyes were. i would have taken a picture but it would have messed up the moment. and we were on a roll because the dude had just read me 20 spelling words.

i had a vanilla milkshake tonight.

sailor put a nice hole in her toe this afternoon by stepping on a rock, she said. it looked like you just took a knife & slit the bottom of her toe nice & deep.

every cat is ban from the house. period.

my aunt came yesterday - she beautifully sat on the couch for just as long as she wanted and loved on each kid.

so the reality is i'll still probably do some freaking out in the next few days : ) and i'll go back & forth from the whole i've already had 5 kids sans pain meds to i'll just stay pregnant forever, thank you.

and all of the sudden i'm at a serious block on how to end this ....

good bye -
: )

- - -
 

what do you do when .....

your living room is covered with ^ this many legos ....

when you're on a sugar high from ^ this for breakfast ....

when the girls are out with rex at the used bookstore & costco .....

you give the boys the camera, tell them to find the ladders & you take take down christmas lights.

its january 21st for crying out loud!

thank you jack, for my 40 week profile picture : )

it was incredibly windy  ....

i saved this one 'cause it shows benny's name on the air conditioner

all photos thanks to the boys - i spared you the 45 other blurry ones of the grass, the ladders & my back side : )

- - -

words.

i think i should have a word for the year. i could put it on a necklace & be all fancy.

i don't have a word of the year.

i have a some words for the week, though. and really they're not super inspiring : )

tired. sick. done. weary. ready. tears.

those don't seem necklace worthy, do they?

i realize someone, somewhere always has 'it' worse.

but everybody's hard is still hard.

and the sink is totally leaking - like flooding the cupboard underneath it. and bucket is gone - he ran off, 2 weeks ago & we haven't seen him since.

so with that uplifting start, would you like to know something?

the insurance man made me cry yesterday. seriously : ) rex, as incredibly understanding of me as he is, was totally floored! i'm sure he was thinking how my few simple questions plus our humble, gentle insurance man could equal tears but .....

it happens.

i purposefully missed his call 'cause molly dolly was sick & crying & needing love & he left a message that said 'blah blah insurance, keep doing a great job raising those kids'

see it can happen : )

we're getting pretty excited to meet him -

the old bouncer was brought back in & the little girls were pretty fascinated : )

score one for sister friends independence - she pulled up her own pants & was completely tickled with herself : )

- - -

janurary 20th will probably never be a bank holiday ... but around here it's a good reason for one. we will celebrate jack today.

its his birthday today. the living room is alive with a boys world from farm, to star wars, to library books for roads.

we've watched a movie & ate a loaf of banana bread straight from the oven.

he says he can't believe he's seven & really, obviously neither can i. but he says it was crazy excitement & really i'm excited too. its a crazy privilege to have a front row seat in watching him grow up.

he asked for pizza & pepsi. he'd like a star wars cake. and as simple as that is - that is what he'll get. 

 

- - -

here's to a great weekend -

he needs new pants, doesn't he? just a tad short : )

- - -

she was enjoying pineapple before lunch today -

- - -

we've been sick. blah, no good, crawl back in bed sick.

- - -

this is a 1st - little rega roo is over there in the corner asleep. her very first night in a real bed.

- - -

we're starting to get ready for little brother - we found him some of jack & benny's old clothes, we brought in the old cradle, we bought him some diapers, we're just waiting for his birth day : )

- - -

speaking of birthdays - who doesn't like a reason to celebrate : ) half birthdays work!

- - -

an example of the sick around here -

- - -

waiting outside while panda express fixed our lunch yesterday -

getting a little help from benny -

- - -

at first they thought this was going to get them down the road fast ....

a few army crawls later & they switched : )

- - -

we're enjoying a weekend of just being together -

- - -

i asked them to just be brothers & sisters for this picture & this is what i got -

- - -

new years came & went without being the big deal its been in other years .... this year seriously just seemed like another day.

which isn't all that bad - except i like to remember, to look back. i like to dream & plan. resolutions, i know are overrated sometimes. especially when they start with the oh so typical lose 25 pounds : )

what happened last year? what's worth remembering? what did God do? how are we better? what did we learn? its easy to remember today - we had muffins for breakfast, rex is working, the laundry is going, its windy outside, regan has cried, the boys have argued, molly's wearing pig tails, sailor has a little collection of trinkets on the couch.

but what about every other day? so here we go .... a right now/end of the year post.

sailor jane is 8. eight and a half really. in a good way she is challenging my parenting, shaking it up. her heart & soul are so much deeper than what's on the surface. i want to love her the way she needs to be loved. she's quiet in a crowd. she's not quiet at home. she's loyal & loves her daddy. she can easily go back & forth from playing legos with the boys to dolls with the sister friends. she & the boys play for hours together outside. she is really pretty patient with the little girls. dressing up is still apart of her world. school is not hard for her. she learns quickly & memorizes incredibly well. history & geography are her favorite subjects. she loves awana. she plays hear i am to worship over & over on the piano. american girl dolls, new shoes & gift cards light her up right now.

jack boy is 13 days away from turning seven. he's super excited about the possibility of sharing his birthday with his little brother. he's a worker. he's a boy who believes his dad can do anything. he's tough. he wrestles hard. he's not a wimp. he has an incredibly sensitive side to him, though. he's straightforward - just tell it to him plainly & he's good.  he's excited about learning to read this year. he favorite part of class is recess & sword fighting with the boys. star wars, cars 2, the action bible & legos are among his favorite things right now.

benny is 5. he started school this year. he likes history & some math. he knows the states & capitals. he learned to write his name. in fact B E N is written in five year old style cursive with sharpie on the outside wall of the house, the air conditioner unit, the door frame of the shed, the playhouse window, he's uncles truck & other places about his height. he likes to be warm, he likes sleep, he likes playing with his sisters in their pretend world of mommy&daddy. he wrestles with jack. they play legos & go cat hunting together. he will randomly tell me insightful bits of wisdom he learned from sunday school.

dolly just turned 4. she skips & dances from place to place more than she walks.  she likes to ride bikes. she likes dolls, hello kitty & connector blocks. she still loves to color. she has learned john 1:1-7 perfectly just from sitting & coloring during school. she prefers to do her own hair and piggy tails are not her favorite. she enjoys books during 'nap' time now. she's usually the 1st one up each morning. she can be completely unreasonable & emotional over the smallest of crisis'. a love from dad can still turn the world right.

regan rose is 2. she is really big on doing things herself, buckling her car seat, climbing into her crib, picking up dads shoes, bringing me the broom, trying to put her own shirt on, helping to set the table. she speaks in little sentences now. 'mommy molly crying' 'daddy home now' 'i want water' - she calls everyone in the family by name & has her own way of saying grandma, bucket & miss val. she doesn't like cats. she's quite the little mommy to her new christmas baby. she's very possessive of all things baby that are slowly coming back into the house. she loves shoes, especially the hand me downs from eliza.

- - -

they say things like 'do you want to run & i'll chase you or do you want to chase me and i'll run'

 

what happened last year? a lot.

what's worth remembering? we aren't all that & God is.

what did God do? everything He planned.

how are we better? ....

what did we learn?  still learning .... to not make life about us.

do i have a list a mile long of 2012 plans? yes - of course i do : )

its been a good year. God has been faithful. He's blessed more than we deserve, probably honestly more than we acknowledge. 

- - -

happy new year!!

- - -

i'm sitting here -

at a new table that fits us all and has enough unbroken chairs for all of us! we sharpied our names underneath it last night as a memorial of its first meal. sailor is building a lego set jack got for christmas. jack is playing with molly's new birthday toys. regan is here with us, just to be apart of the group. molly & ben are playing with her dolls.

amie has left. her goodbye on the chair picture after molly's little party last night .... where regan felt the need to pull the horse over & stand on and molly was obviously partied out.

we love her being here. we are not so secretly glad when she's sad to leave ... regan will have to now go back to having her mom change her diaper & buckle her car seat, etc. we won't meet at the park or target. she won't stay till past midnight & we'll stop living at mom's for days. sailor cried & cried last night saying it'd be at least february 'til she saw auntie amie again. even that will be a stretch. the last time she tried waiting here for a baby to be born she left & regan was born 2 days later. we told her she didn't have to come back, even in february...

we have 3 days left of vacation. i naturally have 3 weeks worth of things i'd like to do : ) we decided over the weekend to paint the girls room & actually get them beds - their mattresses have been on the floor. regan actually has a bed now & the crib has been moved across the hall for her little brother, but ....

i'm not ready for regan to be in a bed : ) so, she is digging rooming with the brothers for awhile!

the boys get hair cuts today. i have an ultrasound tomorrow. sailor has a dentist appointment monday. rex & i need a date. the trailer is full & ready for the dump. there is less than 1/2 a gallon of milk in the 'frig. the dishwasher is busy working for me.

this is robin hood of locksley -

and little john ??? : )

i made up the little john part ... not the part where he said he was robin hood or this part where he decided to share is skateboard helmet with her.

it needed some adjusting -

this was technically last year already .... but its a favorite. every now & then when we use find my friends and see that the little blue dot is pretty close to our road we head out to meet him. and then we pile into the only two seats in his van & come home together. the little girls are learning to drive : ) and i like that look on his face .... it says i think you're great even with your sweats on & your hair not combed & i'm really glad to be home. and i smile back and say i'm even gladder that you're home. even though gladder really isn't the best word.

didn't make this one up either : )

- - -

i love how even being the youngest, you don't teach little girls these things -

- - -

at the beginning of christmas break i had this mental list of what we should do during it. like read all our library books & not forget to practice piano & just go play at the park & clean out that bathroom cupboard & color together.

we've colored : )

and yesterday we used molly's birthday as reason to finally hit the park.

really she wasn't mad here - she was totally telling a detailed story that none of us got : )

 
they called these under doggers -

- - -

molly's go at pushing auntie amie -

- - -

every song that's been playing on pandora while i type is the one i think i'll close with.

right now i will give You all my worship is playing. a good thing to remember four days into a new year & for the 361 days left in it.

oh wait, now its this one 
happy new year ~

- - -

there are 22 minutes left of january 3rd, so that is how long i have to give dolly a happy birthday post. the plan was to do it earlier ....

but she could care less about some blog her mom keeps & instead she was very into knowing when her birthday was going to start!

way more important to a newly turned 4 year old : )

- - -

  

- - -

i like the week between christmas & new years. its slow, lazy, free of major responsibility. i threaten every day to take down the poor tree. rex says he's ok if he comes home from work and i've actually followed through on my threat : )

we've made dvds & calendars in the last week & in going through this last years pictures ...... these are some of my favorites.

 

 

- - -

my favorite outtake from mom&dad's christmas picture this year -

- - -

we will call this 'one big christmas post'

laundry. red velvet cake. blogging. that's the plan today .... not necessarily in that order. really the red velvet is in between all of it : )

i don't cook. i don't bake. but i'm perfecting the red velvet. i follow grandma's recipe as perfectly as i can. i mix, stir, blend, measure, bake & let cool at exactly the right times.

this year it was good.

- - -

my red finger nail polish is chipping off. my left hand especially, as it was painted with my right hand on the way to church sunday. i should have had mom do them when she did the girls .....

i'm enjoying a day with only 3 things on the list ...

i'm enjoying texts from amie that say she's on her way over .... just like that.

and without sounding cheesy, i'm so glad for how rex takes care of us. for his job & how it provides for us. for him being the man & doing what he's suppose to do. it hit me when i was sweeping the floor this morning ....

the 1st part of this post will be about christmas tree lane - a local street where nearly every house goes all out with lights, wooden soldiers, tacky blow up snow men, nativity scenes & really everything else they think to set on their lawns & string lights around. we weren't going to go ... then i was going to stay ... then we borrowed every coat mom had & decided to walk it, instead of drive.

dad & jack -

regan watching the house that times their lights to music -

these are the things you do that are crazy when you start them & by the time they're over you have memories worth remembering.

- - -

we had this big ol' slumber party at moms friday night .... just 'cause every one was here & it was crazy & mom doesn't have enough beds for all of us & the air mattress went flat & we stayed up til 2 am wrapping gifts for each other in front of each other & watching the help.  dad went to his starbucks, where they know him by name & brought back christmas eve goodness -

 

- - -

we eat. we give those gifts we wrapped in front of each other. we play games. we don't really get dressed. we are just together.

i completely stomped them in mexican train ... amie & sailor were not impressed : )

- - -

the games, food & football watching needed to be walked off -

- - -

rex & i rewatched the nativity story christmas eve while we stuffed stockings & set out gifts.  rex has this luke 11:13 view on christmas gifts for the kids ... he seriously delights in giving good gifts.

  
they aren't the wake up at 4am on christmas type of kids : ) rex & i can make it out to the couch with quilts & a camera and wait for them still .... and as you can see from jacky's eye rubbing he actually was woke up.

merry christmas, sailor janey -

every stocking has an orange .... and she is actually one kid that likes them.

it goes very fast, he says -

- - -

this next part was really amie's idea .... it's been over a year & a half since we've all been together, she thought we needed pictures. so after church we grouped up, set up the tripod, tried convincing regan she didn't have to be in uncle chady's arms the entire time & clicked away : )

 

 

 

and regan was still totally into chad and her picture turned out like this : )

 

the great thing about this picture is the next time it's taken they'll be two more little kids in it -

- - -

april read us stories that she cried through ... 'cause she is that beautiful ~

cousins, christmas of 2011 -

- - -

this has been my favorite christmas song this year .... maybe because there's been this slightly over the top emphasis on what is christmas & what its not .... & well, that's another soap box entirely : )  maybe it rings true 'cause i'm weeks out of having a baby.

' .... and the Word became flesh & dwelt among us ....'
amazing.



merry christmas !!!

- - -